Cryptocurrency collapsed, but there are still chances out there…best investment so far this summer has been made in shaving kits and aftershave balms.
Soaring temperatures set up an increased sell of shaving kits initially. People fed up with making knotted goldilocks from their armpits and pubes, decided to start shaving as it is not possible anymore to hide them.
Sharks of opportunity purchased shares and invested in this type of company and it was an absolute delight.
Also the aftershock has been the increased purchase of aftershave balms and creams because many don't have talented wrists and get irritated.
Other whales are crying at the minute. They put money in shares of electricity companies. Bad. Weather in the UK made people consume just around three pounds a day in the summer so now they are waiting to max out profits in the winter, getting ready for the bailiff teams as people won't have money…
Most inspired were as well the ones that invested in antiperspirants. Them tiktoks really made people sweat a lot these days with all the higher IQ moves, dances and essential little things to do for living.
Only fans users with experience in shaving and preventing cracks foaming made a ton, especially the ones with pepperoni areolas. For sure done more than enough to get a pizza or as they say in the Aleutian islands : "using pizda to make more than enough to get a pizza". That been shocking for sure.
Bless and stay tuned. More to follow (less to swallow).
This is a satire and should be treated accordingly. Any resemblance to persons, businesses or facts is purely fictional. The opinions expressed on the stratfordsatire.co.uk are entirely those of the individual contributors and do not represent the views of any other organization or person.
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