Is winter or end of winter, and while everyone is amazed about how much they have to pay in order to stay warm, others are just jubilating about new discoveries.
Towards the suppliers rivers of reviews saying “vermin, vermin, etc.” are flowing at a faster pace than the amperes incoming into their fuses.
Complaints about metres, that are not so smart as claimed, are flowing into deaf ears over the phone.
“-my metre charges me more because i had spiders ejaculating speed into their mechanism”
“-my metre has been cursed, it has been jinxed. I witnessed a mysterious being reciting in reverse Shakespeare sonnets to it”
The most lucky ones, the ones jubilating, are the ones that discovered the power of Beep Heat.
“-I apply generously over my hairy legs. I start to feel the heat and I confront the smart metre. Haha! You are done mate!”
“-yeah! We already depleted shelves of beep heat. Most amazing product this season. Say to the boy Fartin Marwence that he is an amateur with saving pennies. We are saving a fortune, he ain’t got an ant excrement in those two lobs”.
The smart guy turned and said:
“-well…the extremities go cold first and beep heat does trick the system. Avoid applying on genitalia as it has its own heating system naturally.”
Representative of the 100penniesland stated blatantly:
“-no promises that we will satisfy this high demand this season, for the next one we will get ready with lories full of beep heat.”
Another day gone and the semi-frozen ones came a dozen, fans of sitting in the MacDon.
“- oxiuros vermins obviously… spell it with me O to the V to the O, these are the ones pushing us to extreme gestures like staying in this place, enjoying free wi-fi and some heat for a few hours. Chewing slowly for a better digestion. I just finished my MigBac in 4 hours…Guess what? I can go another two on this apple pie”
“-we didn’t have an explanation of the price increase and also a clarification of who is Ofjam. They might be off jam, their business, wouldn’t care less about their jammy struggles but from the prices we understand, as the companies claim to supply green energy, that they are producing it by having these giant warehouses with people pedalling to produce energy while they take on phone calls from unhappy customers. It is a conspiracy at the minute, soon to be proved.”
And the customers services say they have a wide range of complaints:
“-hello! I shall pay nothing, can’t read meter and don’t trust your estimates. My meter display is unreadable as someone attacked it with graffiti spray, they wrote this intricate E-F-U-R-C-E-O ”
“-hello! Big complaint here. My amperes and volts are incoming knotted through the wires…you sick green euglenas are manipulating the watts. Boo”
The oxiur-vermin company doesn’t care. Just wants to leech money.