Intercourse with customer services electric company
Brrrr!brrrrrrr! That constipated tune been knocking at my eustache serpentine in my drum ears for over 45 minutes now. Meanwhile i cut an invoice for £9.50 to charge this electricity company as i am wasting time trying to get a human answering.
When finally they picked up, i got to: "can I get you account number please?"...all of that with a voice like it had a hommo errectus in the mouth.
"-I am mister Petard and I would like to bring to your attention that you are recorded"...
"-Hi mr Petard. My account is the root square taken of the Andromeda galaxy coordinates. My date of birth is this and that month and my name been smeared in this birth certificate with a dried extracted hemorrhoid Nalapula Na. I got among my hobbies the pleasure of fisting bell peppers with nunchucks as well as giving zero ef … you know what's the cracks on yo lips flaps"
"-I feel we deviate…why did you called today?"
Mr Petard yawned…
"-I wanna set up direct debit after you closed it without giving me notice anything"
"-If I might call you Nalapula Na…you have an outstanding balance of 977.60…would you like to pay it today?"
"-No Mr Petard. I called to say that Mr Pulen or Mr Pulensky will pay for it. They said public that they want to have people excrementing in to their heads"
"-Wow! Now that is politically balanced. You need to pick up a wing! Left or right?"
"-I picked up chicken wings and mr Petard just to let you know that you are indeed mr Petard"
He hung up.
And that's how you deal with these customer service people, employed on low wages, bored of dealing with all the customers. They are all like a huge unique entity, named themselves as Andy Caps.
The reviews are flowing towards them and the company interests they are trying to represent, in this kind of manner:
"...pure manure, Andy Caps are absolutely useless…I hope the company goes in administration and you all lose your jobs!"
The rant goes back and forward. We are living on a planet of Andy Caps.
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This is a satire and should be treated accordingly. Any resemblance to actual people, facts or businesses is purely coincidental.
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