That’s right. The title is click bait. Playin’ dirty as possible.
Here we have a list of how not to make money in 2022.
Work honestly anywhere between minimum wage to 12 quid an hour. As long as you pay full rent at this rate, with the prices going up, you will not make money. And if what you get left you call money…well, you might have issues. For self punishment try to get a job on minimum wage in hospitality.
Blogging like me and creating original content - a big no no . You will be categorised as being against community standards if you do satire and sarcasm. To make money use copy paste for ideas from others that copied them from others, etc. Big note here - create dumb, low IQ content - there is a wide public craving for that.
Vlogging as a chef - the niche is saturated and no one brings anything new on the table. If you wanna make money from the youtube views in this food niche, probably one of the only things that works would be to make vegan themed content, bragging about how much vegan knowledge you have as well as how it is not cool to kill animals. Long live the kale!
Becoming an “ebayer” - beware the platform is full of dreamers from the “combi-nation nation”. All the dreamers rely on others being dreamers. Buy low, sell high. Until they request a return as “it is not matching description” and you lose money anyway - that’s trolling the competition technique. Don’t sweat the technique.
Selling pills to increase the (ha ha ha hi hi ho) - this idea is delusional. This is a mirage and even if it works the increase is never enough. The right step would be to sell the illusion that you can provide something to decrease size. At least in the past 20 years I heard claims of ten inch plus. Less is more! New trend in 2022.
Trying to make money by using money saving experts. These experts teach you in 200 words and 50 adverts how to save 10 pence. I’ll tell you how: don’t throw them in magic wells that apparently bring you luck, just keep them. The money saving experts actually make money from the visualisations made by people like you, reading their penniless words between adverts.
Playing to win online betting and slots - you’ll get promos to play on slots and you’ll start to chase what you lose. Eventually you’ll post your two pairs of knickers on ebay ( knickers including the ancient mandatory holes created by passing gas) - all in just for a few quids so you can spin them reels a bit more - maybe, maybe. You can try to make a bet at a bookie that you can lose all the money at the other bookie. It isn’t like against all odds, it's just that you got no odds.
Opening a gym. If you are not in the mood for overnight wannabe supplements, protein shakes and expert muscle mass increase plus potential steroids dealers in your gym - probably opening a gym is not your best move. The trends show that a Procrastinating Space is a spot on idea. People come into a 3 ft square space where no one bothers them. Full inclusive chargers for the phones and rock and roll! Let them enjoy doing nothing. Keep the wi-fi on, promise no social interference, no kids, no family…that’s what it looks like. Occasionally cut the wi-fi and instantaneously play “lonely, I am so lonely…”. The anti-trends say that procrastinators feel lonely without their favourite device.
Tourism agency. People are not enjoying the holidays anymore. They are going to places just for selfies and to brag on social media that they are on a “holiday”. Provide services mimicking holidays. “Come to us! You don’t have to go for the 20th time to Gran Canaria for the usual selfie…using our green screen we can create hundreds of photos in one session, then you can procrastinate at home, hiding and pretending that you are on holiday!”
Singing. Just another delusional idea that you gonna make money by singing like in the ‘80s? ‘90s? ‘2000s? No! Stop! Get yourself on autotune and don’t use brainy lyrics. The trends indicate that your first album should be on subjects like “I kinda want it but don’t objectify me, I’ll do it myself” or “look how hardly accessible I am sexually”
This is a satire and should be treated accordingly. Any resemblance to persons, business or institutions is purely coincidental. Do not recommend anything written to be taken seriously, to be followed or tried.
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