Alarmed and anxious I have to report the following recurring incident.
It seems to me (or as G.C. would say “it just seems to me”) that wherever I turn in this town I have to cross paths with these haunting entities which come everytime in different shapes and forms.
I am talking about THOSE 3 GROBIANS or as I like to call them - LOS TRES GROBIANS…
Now...what exactly are these entities and how do they affect you by interfering with them?
They usually take shape of teen “gurlz” with flat chest/ no breast, absolute no belly and humongous hips and rear bottom. They always walk one next to the other, perfectly aligned (even a galaxy as humble as Andromeda gets envy over this alignment), and the wideness of their hips is quite huge - I mean it ranges between two and mostly three feet across (in the metric system 80cm to nearly 1 metre).
I have to specify that if these entities don’t get across you as “gurlz” they would take the shape of a random bunch of peps in their late 40’s - mid 50’s. Wide, without depth and height.
So far once I got across them as possessing these late 40’s bodies.
At least 20 times they were exposing themselves as “gurlz”.
Cycle to work 7 am...guess what? LOS TRES GROBIANS aligned occupying the pavement. They leave me 1 feet to squeeze anxiously with my bicycle at the edge of the pavement increasing my chances to fall on the road and get crushed by a guy like Mr Potato or “Bahshinator” with his 2002 "tunnnnnned" Polo. Would only take one of them to whisper towards me and that would be. I would be under the Desko delivery truck.
Their looks always taunt you. You can read them as “what! What! What you doing with your buy now pay later argonautic bicycle on the pavement”
I stopped once. Didn’t say anything. Just pointed to the blue round sign picturing people and cycles.
One of the grobians killed my soul instantly with just a look.
Turning to other one from the middle she said:
“3 plies ain’t got sh%t on me!”
Wow...this...in Shakespeare's town. Can you imagine? Probably not, obviously you are not Lohn Jennon.
Cycle back from work - 7 pm. LOS TRES GROBIANS again. This time in the shape of different “gurlz” - with sunglasses, chewing left to right - goat style.
One of them threw a phlegm towards me as I was about 50 yards from them. The entities this time had their hips maxed out at 3 feet.
Mid one said:
“If I crush his face between my legs, I can call them nutcrackers”.
“Entities of wideness, no depth, no height.
Painful to watch as a by pube-pull and bite
Paint-full to cross, paid in full, eyeballs toss
Three feet rumps across and cheap lip gloss
Go away, go, go, grobians, eject like voma
Visually awakening coma in Sodom, Gomorrah
Grobians, out of the way, twerking hips
Pro - Tips -Throwing my neurons of the cliffs”
That’s the magic chant.
I had a look back and saw 3 pers of one-two/ left-right symmetrical rear cheeks.
I had to do the chant again, turned my head...and... it worked.
They magically disappeared.
If there is no magic, you have to make it.
As long as you get a chant to go along with it, even better.
Any real, semi-real or similar names, places, people, products, services and locales are used purely for satirical purposes, and the corresponding story details are purely fictional. The articles contained herein are to be considered satire, parody, surrealism, and humour. Any resemblance to actual persons, businesses, or events is entirely coincidental.
Comments
Post a Comment