Here we have the story of the "push man". His peaceful life been disrupted by just one letter. Countless days passed by in the past year pushing loads of working hours, stacking under his mattress few hundred pounds as he could save, but one day the letter came...The letter itself, brown envelope, resumes the old resume saying:
"Life is like the hair surrounding your sphincter...short and full of sh*t"
Talking to himself:
"-Now let's see...probably my tax code changed, paying less taxes!"
Reading out loud to himself:
"-Dear Sir, according to our records, you been working hardly while being on furlough. Because of this planned/unplanned manoeuvre we miscalculated your taxes. You owe us 724.08 pounds. If you would like to make a full payment please contact us, or we will automatically deduct monthly the amount of 60.34. Many thanks to your wallet!"
"-nooo!... your mum's wallet!"
So he had to obey. But the obedience came along with antisocial behaviour consequences. Inspired by one of his favourite songs of the Ice Parallelogram called "Granma's rap made me do it!", he started to take his revenge on society.
At work:
"-who placed cling film in ladies toilet? I got three employees complaining that they wet themselves now..."
"-I've done it! Hash-em-ar-see made me do it!"
At the corner shop:
"-such an idiot! He been waiting for the change of 12 penny! He could leave it to charity..."
"-hey! I heard you! I'm not like that usually but Hash-em-ar-see made me do it!"
On the main street:
"-hey man! I am a busker! I perform 60's jazz...you can not just urinate in my altosax case over the few pennies people left for me..."
"-sorry! Hash-em-ar-see made me do it"
To colleagues at work:
"-hey man! You can not just call me a big-butted-double-eyebrow-insecure-snowflake! What do you know about my life?"
"-Hash-em-ar-see made me do it!"
Mid age lady that looked semi-retired went on:
"-you can not call me slower-than-an-amputated-snail! Oh I am so angry now...I think I am going to cry a little bit!"
"-Hash-em-ar-see made me do it!"
Now that became a social disaster and the landlines for the Hash-em-ar-see became red.
Lots of people calling to complaint about disasters that happened to them allegedly as retaliation to their actions.
Others took their chance and released promotional materials for peoples that got their life affected. T-shirts with Hash-em-ar-see inscriptions, toilet rolls, condoms, bongs, rolling papers, bags with diarrhoea to be thrown at people and buildings randomly and even a fiery-blistering lube.
Definitely one of the situations where a bad thing generates more bad things and from there an entire culture.
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