Jammy story...
We was discussing that we didn't consumed jam in a veeery long time. Nowadays everyone goes for chocolate spread or for the high protein sandwiches of chocolate spread and peanut butter. We decided to pick some jam so we can have with some pancakes-probably an odd combination. I found a diabetic jam, which, even that it had less sugar than the normal one, it cost more than the one with over 50 grams of sugar per 100 grams of product. Now: my friend chose a brand jam "fartley" apricot jam, which is made with 45 grams of fruit per 100 grams of product. What would be the rest of it ? that was the question that hit us. I deducted that might be guar gum or xhantax gum and other stabilisers plus sugar. We bought what we wanted, none of us got diabetes yet but my friend experienced some extreme side effects from this jam. His excrements bungee jumped from the toilet back in to his colon several times before to splash in the toilet's water. It might sound gross to you, for some of us sounds like to much gum and stabilisers. It might be his digestion or the dodgy combination of sugars, gum and stabilisers.
"-Whazzap B? you won't believe what just happened to me yo! This jam is wicked fo' real!"
"-Yo yo! how so ma' man?"
"-Well...while sitting on the toilet throne, playing decent level of Farty crush...while also doing metaphysical breathing exercises...finally I released the brick..."
"-Oh! Come on man...thought you gonna tell me something more interesting..."
"-Hold on! Now comes the interesting part... the "briccck" plunged towards the water. The water gulped it about half length-ways, but it bungee-jumped back all the way up to my colon B."
"-Fo' real?"
"-Fo' real B! This Guar or Xhantax gum ain't nothing to f**k with!"
"-And how did you actually got rid of the so called "briccck"?"
"-Had to use scissors B. Fo' real!"
"-Oh ma' man! that is so mind boggling..."
"-Still got a bit left, it retracted in the colon. The plan is to push about 30 grams of fibber a day fo' few dayzzzz!"
"-How you gonna do that man? I mean and I guess that over 50% of the population doesn't even get close to that intake on a yearly average daily intake..."
"-According to the researches done - you can't do fibber glass, but what is cool and wicked, apparently if you consume that white cabbage, you should get some fibber. What is cool about the white cabbage from Desko? it is indestructible. Had one for months in the fridge, it didn't rotten. I tried to burn it, it didn't. I used it to solder metal over it - argon soldering - it been unaffected. I think it would even survive an atomic bomb! Anyway, fibber power B!"
"-May the force of fibber be with you!"
This is a satire and should be treated as satire. Any resemblance to personas, facts or events is purely coincidental.
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