Cave art discovery

 

New discoveries continues to amaze us daily. Recently a cave art been found in the Stratford-upon-Avon area. The image depicting a salad reveals that even in ancient times humanity had vegans. It could be the oldest proof of veganism.

This chunk of stone has been found on a field with a note saying "I found this in the secret cave of Stratford-upon-Avon...can't tell you we're the cave is, you'll have to trust me on this one, but there is a secret cave part of a bigger conspiracy, can't reveal more. Soon I will disclose more...". Along the stone and the note there was also a Desko club card with last four digits missing. This makes the whole thing even more intriguing.

All the vegans in town are cheering the discovery. At the social distanced gathering you could here through the masks:

"-See... Even the neanderthals understood that eating animals is a cruelty. This lettuce from the cave art shows exactly the evolution to homo sapiens..." 

"-you homo, if you want, I ain't...rrr da dog is here... I show no love, to..." came mumbled from the crowd 

"-boo! We not here for that!just leave it for another time" the crowd shut the man disturbing the discussion. 

"-Let's not get confused, it is drawn with animal blood, look at the red and fuchsia complexions! "

" - neah man! I bet it is drawn with raw beetroot! What could it be if he was vegan! "

"-I bet that even thee deers and the rhinoceros depicted in other places are just substitutes...you know... Like when we go and ask for a vegan burger or vegan sausage, the same, it might occur that the ancestors made the deers out of plants and the whole thing got just confused, maybe they was all along vegans and never hunters"

And on and on. The discovery animated spirits and imagination. 

The iceberg lettuce depicted looks very similar to what you can find in Desko, brought in from es-Pain well treated chemically and making a nice symbiosis with the Ken&Ian dill which travelled thousands of miles to marvel at the 

Lettuce. The urban legend says that first time the dill seen the Iceberg said :"let's do a salad! I don't like salmon..." 

Stratford satire is a satire and parody publication. All articles contained within this website and on its social media accounts, however similar to real events, are fictitious. When public figures or actual businesses are mentioned by name, the corresponding story details are invented. In all other cases, any resemblance to actual persons, businesses or events is entirely coincidental. Main aim being to shed a smile on the face of the reader.