A dingo been spotted in Stratford-upon-Avon and it happened that I witnessed it. My neighbour was doing a barbecue outside and he was setting up his master plan for a smooth grilling, all of this by starting with opening a can of beer. I was around as well with an open can of beer and just wanted to interact with him, to tell him about the potential of our galaxy colliding with another one, usual stuff...
All off the sudden this dingo came running and snatched the pack with steaks, fleeing through the bushes God knows where if not on his way back to Australia.
Now his wife, 30 stones heavyweight sumo champion (I know cause they showed to me proudly the medal) started to scream from the top of her lungs:
"-Noooo! Not the steaks! Bastard, twa..! Not my 150 grams of protein.... Nooo!"
That was her cry after the protein. Fear of protein deficit.
"-ah! Leave him! Leave him woman! He doesn't know to grill the meat!"
I got lost... This was deeper that the galaxy. OK. So don't worry about dingo, the lost of protein source, the steaks, etc. The dingo didn't knew to grill the steak.
My neighbour turns around saying very calm:
"-You see ... Once I snatched Mona Lisa painting... The original...I placed it in the bathroom by the toilet seat as in the living room on the wall was my wife's medal hanging... Guess what? I took the painting back, as every time I would go to do my wee-wee I would see Mona Lisa's smile... "
He continued:
" - what are you smiling at? Is it that small? So I took it back so people can enjoy seeing her, I couldn't make much out of her. The dingo now he done like me in Mona Lisa case, he took the meat, but he will not value that raw as would be grilled..."
"-yeah! But he is gonna get 100% protein!!! " his wife shouted.
I left with a headache... Mona Lisa, galaxy, protein, dingo...
Conclusion : lies works till it comes to Mona Lisa.
Stratford satire is a satire and parody publication. All articles contained within this website and on its social media accounts, however similar to real events, are fictitious. When public figures or actual businesses are mentioned by name, the corresponding story details are invented. In all other cases, any resemblance to actual persons, businesses or events is entirely coincidental. Main aim being to shed a smile on the face of the reader.
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