The door squeaked open and lead our extraordinary civilian to the room of the interview. You could feel from the corridor the interviewers pheromones in the air, an interesting mix of sweat and fish broth - seafood bisque.
"-Let's proceed…first of all what is your name?"
"-Yo! Yo! My name is Shamanizat Howmanizat and I am O.I."
"-O.I.???"
"-Ya ma' Immi…I am an original immi ma' immi. Where Immi stands for immi…grants to produce…highlife to abuse…and so on, so on..."
"-Hmm…what makes you think you are fit for this job and what do you want to achieve…"
"-At least in the next five years I want to live, I want to carry on! This is the life…I have experience from back home making furniture and I think I can do the job for you…"
"-Ha ha ha! You are funny…Ha ha ha! You might be an O.I., let me tell you immi…without NVQ you stand no chance immi…it must be level 2 at least immi…so this is the life immi. Sorry but it will be a no!"
"-Ah come on ma' immi…I do have strong experience, you don't even wanna give me a chance…"
"-Without level 2 NVQ you can not do this job…don’t you know, that here horizontal trees we grow…go have a look on Birmingham Road. You have experience in making furniture from trees that grow vertically, but here…hear me out immi…here you need NVQ level 2 as the trees we work with…they grow horizontally."
Astonished, Shamanizat left straight out of that office, headed to Birmingham Road and indeed he witnessed the tree growing horizontally. He asked about it and some deluded people claimed that the tree is like that from the past two months. Been leaned horizontally by a storm that was related for a week in the newspapers. They also denied the pavement as being imported from Mariupol.
As a result of what it been witnessed, Shamanizat decided to give up on making furniture and became a fervent protester. Mounted in front of the local council he was shouting every two minutes:
"- This is the eight wonder of the world! I want my council tax doubled ma' immi! Straight four hundred quid a month at least immi!"
This is a satire and should be treated accordingly.
Do not try any of these at home.
As said on wikipedia ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire ):
"Satire is a genre of the visual, literary, and performing arts, usually in the form of fiction and less frequently non-fiction, in which vices, follies, abuses and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, with the intent of shaming individuals, corporations, government, or society itself into improvement.[1] Although satire is usually meant to be humorous, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit to draw attention to both particular and wider issues in society.
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