Wicked pigeons on the rescue

Great news people! The government gives positive signals that the lockdown will start to ease.

Do you know what this means?

Good news it means...

And not only for us...it means good news for the Stratford-upon-Avon pigeons as well.

The pigeons are more than happy to hear the news as this means they'll have to stop feeding with bread and breadcrumbs the town's penthouseless people. 

Yes. You heard well! 

You see, in normal conditions, when the tourism was flourishing in town, we would see on the streets few penthouseless lads milking the cow on at least twenty quid per  hour, giving them the late night gunja dreams. Now with the pandemic Jahhh seems that it turned his back to them - no tourism no income.

Our guys wondering alone on the cold streets induced a deep feeling of mercy in to the pigeons. That much mercy that they started to feed the penthouseless...

-This "mercy" been accentuated in time, as the pigeons developed this strong feeling seeing how the people passing by the penthouseless would just say "I got no change mate" instead of a simple "hello! How are you today? Who's your dealer? You got swag!" and so on - stated a famous obscure columbophil from the area. 

You can see the group aligned in front of the theatre every now and then waiting for the pigeons. One of the guys even plays silly on a detuned four cord guitar " strumming my pain with his finger... ". Local legend says one day a wicked pigeon brought a bud and a spontaneous wrestlemania started over it. At the end the winner bowed and exclaimed "Thank you Jaaahhh! We da children of da porn are grateful!..."

Stratford satire is a satire and parody publication. All articles contained within this website and on its social media accounts, however similar to real events, are fictitious. When public figures or actual businesses are mentioned by name, the corresponding story details are invented. In all other cases, any resemblance to actual persons, businesses or events is entirely coincidental. Main aim being to shed a smile on the face of the reader.