People have gotten really bored since the first few days of January. All the news related to war, economic squeeze, fear of poverty, lack of news with Jesy Jelson and reduced gossip at work pushed them to return to good ol' pranks at work, the 2022 edition.
*Disclaimer: stratfordsatire does not endorse, promote or support any of these pranks. Do not try any of this.
From all that has been seen and has been experienced, here we have some examples:
Fire resistant insulation smeared on home clothing (around neck area, wrists and armpits areas). Way to go! Maleficent or not, it is pure evil to witness people scratching themselves maniacally while searching on google skin conditions and diseases. Also hard to spot who did it, as most of the people don't even know what "insulation" is.
Cling film over toilet seats. This one is epic. I have witnessed it in several different premises. Done in the ladies toilets, with perfectly stretched cling film - many times the victims of this sick prank suspecting a technical issue with themselves without questioning any IQ issues. When it is found that it is actually cling film, the one that finds out reports this finding proudly with an acknowledged air of "sort of Sherlock Holmes".
Antibacterial gel loose top. This is something done by secretly covid rules-haters, people that like their sticky fingers or bacterial smeared hand skin. There is antibacterial gel that can be pumped or the one that you have to squeeze. Well, what happens is that this last one, it is taken and gets the top loose, hardly visible. When the next user tries to use it it gets the top in his palm as well as a huge quantity of gel that could kill billions of bacterias.
Bin bag cut at the bottom. Prank pulled on people concerned about the environment. Basic prank. In the bin bag is placed a bag cut at the bottom. When they try to take it out the bag splits. The pranker can be observed being amused by the fact that the pranked people start to panic and rush to quickly clean the rubbish.
Chilli powder in the protein shake. As nasty as it gets. Aimed either at muscle flex wannabes or at people believing that they will lose weight. I have seen the effects and they are not pleasant. Don't leave your protein powder randomly in the building.
Sachets of nasty farts odour opened across the workplace. Fascinating to see how people try to identify the source of odour.
Jam in the shoes or trainers left in the changing room. I have witnessed even diabetic jam being smeared on the insoles of a poor colleague suffering from diabetes. The prankster smirked and said "we must be inclusive bro".
This has been in the hospitality sector. Poor guys working as waiters or bartenders that weren't fitting in, were analysed to see the time frame of attendance. Usually they were on the limit to start the shift and the prank was someone pouring cognac or whisky over their uniform from the lockers. Quite nasty as the restaurant manager or supervisor was bringing in questions like "do you have an alcohol issue?".
Pay rise promised to everyone by managers that know they will resign and finish soon. Hope dies last. I've seen people buying new wallets because of this.
Nominating someone for employee of the month anonymously, motivating that the person nominated promised to fulfil few of the wildest imaginable dreams. This will generate 1 week of gossip as people will speculate who did it.
This is a satire and should be treated accordingly. Any resemblance to actual people, facts or situations is purely coincidental.
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